The City Herald: Fracas at the Chicken Hutt

January 28th, 2007

Fracas at the Chicken Hutt

Last night at a local Chicken Hutt a super villain who witness’s claimed called himself “Cosmic Universe” went on a rampage. The Bureau of Super-Heroes (BoSH) would not confirm nor deny if the Cosmic Universe was actually the name of the super villain who was captured at the scene or not. Only a few witnesses were available to talk about the events leading up to the arrival of BoSH supers who took the criminal into custody.

“We were just getting our order of Chicken Hutt Family Bucket of variety chicken meats, when the doors were kicked.” Said Charles Dalton. “It was a load thud because the doors open outward, and this guy tried to kick them inwards. Then this guy in a dark costume opened the doors and walked in. Of course I was laughing a bit because of his failed attempt to kick the doors in, but this made him mad. All of a sudden he shouted ‘How dare you laugh at the Cosmic Universe!’ and then my bucket exploded. It seemed like a whirlwind of chicken bits just appeared and began to pelt everyone in the store. I quickly got me and my family out of there.”

From a few other witnesses the Cosmic Universe wore a dark costume that had a large supernova icon on the front, with a silver galaxy across the back and small moon symbol lower on the front. Beyond the mention of causing chicken to form a whirlwind, no others could specify what ‘Cosmic’ powers Cosmic Universe had. Again BoSH would not comment on the powers of the super in custody.

One employee who fled the Chicken Hutt after Cosmic Universe chased all the customers out and started to ransack the kitchen area, managed to watch the BoSH team take down the super villain from a spot across the street.

“Shortly after I made sure all the customers and other employees were safely out of the store I snuck out and across the street to call the police.” relayed Dale Smartson, shift-manager of Chicken Hutt. “A few minutes later a moss covered van screeched to a halt in front of the store. Out of the green van stomped a green yeti like person, a small kid and a guy dressed in a white costume. Then this strange angel suddenly appeared in the store at the counter. By this point Cosmic Universe was back in the kitchen.”

“Then the winged girl blinked and reappeared in the kitchen area, as I could see through the large serving window between the kitchen and the dining area. The young kid charged into the store followed by the green yeti and white guy. The young kid then ran into the kitchen and the green yeti shot a blaster into the kitchen. Beyond that I didn’t see much more of what happened, because it all took place in the kitchen and I was across the street.”

From a survey of the Chicken Hutt afterwards, one could only see a lot of chicken bits all over the kitchen area and deep fat fryer grease all over the floor. The odd thing was that none of the deep fat fryers had any grease in them, it was as if the grease had been thrown out of the fryers onto the floor. The back door to the Chicken Hutt had also been blasted in by some powerful force.

BoSH would not comment any more than to say that a new super group, going by the name of United Supers was responsible for stopping the criminal at the Chicken Hutt.