The Tattler: Chef uses Zombie minions to slaughter 30 at restaurant

All the news we believe you should read

February 10th, 2007

Chef uses Zombie minions to slaughter 30 at restaurant

Last night a chef at an Italian restaurant got upset at the presence of Supers in his establishment. In order to drive out the Supers, the chef called up his minions of gun-toting zombies to take out the Supers. The result was a slaughter of 30 patrons of the restaurant and the taking out of two of the Supers present.

It is not know why the Chef disliked the Supers so much, but it is believed that it had something to do with the restaurant being a safe haven for members of the local Mafia. The Supers might have scared off the chef's Mafia regulars, who are known to tip a good deal more than regular patrons. Thus the chef took it upon himself to make his establishment safe again for his regular costumers.

While the Supers sat down to eat, the chef called up a horde of Zombies with machine guns. Then had them march up to the front of the restaurant had proceed to shot at the Supers. When the bullets started to fly into the restaurant the Supers ducked under the table letting the bullets rip into the other innocent diners in the restaurant. As a result 30 people died in the shoot out. As quickly as it started the Zombies quickly fled the scene in a dark car.

Two reporters from the Tattler were the first on the scene, and were able to interview a young gentleman who was shot several times in the incident. From the young gentleman the whole incident above was explained to the reporters. Meanwhile the Chef refused to speak to the reporters of the attack by his zombie minions.

From another witness one of our intrepid reporters found out that, shortly after the shooting had stop, one Super who was hit was teleported out of the place by another Super. Another Super who had been shot in the shoulder tried to remove the bullet with his fork, still covered with spaghetti and sauce, and promptly passed out. He was still there when the Reporters arrived, and being unconscious was not able to give a quote.

Apparently the other Supers who were present did not help much either. One of the Supers just started pulling stuff out of her pocket and tried to fiddle with them. Another tried to comfort a few of the survivors, while another sort of sat back and looked at the scene without much interest. It was mentioned that none of them tried to go after the car in which the Zombies had fled, thus leaving a rampaging group of gun totting Zombies running loose in the City.

It is also worth noting that a giant ant was seen the next morning, stealing the Super's Green Mobile that was parked out front. Although some claim that it was actually a small kid that had stolen the Green Mobile. It appears that some in the Oil Industry does not like the idea of an Eco-friendly, and have decided to send their own Super in to steal the Green Mobile.

When reporter from the Tattler tried to get a comment from the United Supers, the Supers at the restaraunt, but they refused to comment on how their negligence lead to the deaths of 30 people.